Showing posts with label fear unemployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear unemployment. Show all posts

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Fear of the Unknown

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby."
-Ruth Renkal

In times of uncertainty, I examine my fears. I have few. I often think I am one of the most fearless people I know. The most obvious fear currently is being unemployed, and whether I will be able to find a new position.

This is a fear that hides in shadow - it's an unknown. I can't predict the future. So why dwell on it? The truth is I am doing everything within my power to find a new job. If what I am doing is not good enough after a reasonable period of time I will do more - expand the length of time I'm willing to drive to get to a new job, lower my standards for salary, even take yet more classes to put on my resume.

But dwell on the fear? That is a useless exercise. They say it is like sitting in a rocking chair - a lot of movement that takes you nowhere. Set the fear aside, it doesn't help.

There are irrational fears in my life. As I've gotten older I've developed a fear of heights. I don't let it stop me from doing things - I've climbed onto our roof to help with repairs. That doesn't compare to replacing windows on the Arcade roof 7 stories up when I was 21, but now it stops my heart. Back then it was just a job. I also have a lifelong fear of physical conflict, and I don't mean the perfectly reasonable fear of someone beating me, I mean if I hear people arguing, even in another room - my heart starts racing, my breathing is shallow - I'm heading for the door. Who can say what buried trauma sets this off? I don't want to unearth it, I just avoid those situations. My rational brain knows I'm safe, my reptilian brain sets me into flight.

Fortunately I don't have your typical girly-girl fears - I actually like spiders and snakes. They're the good guys in my house and yard, the ones that destroy the germ and disease carriers.

I used to fear public speaking, one of the most common fears people have. But I don't have that fear anymore. How did I overcome it? First, I tried it. Secondly, I realized that most people are so much more concerned with themselves than they are with me, that it doesn't matter what I do. It's the same with dancing. No matter what you think, people are not looking at you on that dance floor, unless you are a gold-medal winning dancer. Otherwise, you're just one of the crowd.

Probably the biggest fear in the Judeo-Christian world is the fear of death. Do I fear it? I have to honestly say I don't know. The clearest answer I give is that it doesn't matter. That is then and this is now. I hope it's not painful, but otherwise how can I possibly fear something that absolutely no one can tell me anything about? I can refer you to my opening quote, that a shadow simply  means there is a light shining nearby. However you perceive that light may be the peace that saves you from a fear of death. If you have read my previous blogs you know that I believe that light is Love - so when I die I know that I will be welcomed into the arms of universal Love.

So obviously I'm starting to ramble, but only because I find fear an interesting subject, one that can play too big a part in our lives. I think we can examine our fears and learn how to make peace with them.

Or remain ignorant and terrorize the world.